No doughnuts, no cigarettes, no pudding
by Hasu Hana
Summary: They're missing, they're missing! NO! Where could they have gone? This is insane!...That's a little taste of how this story goes. Because of some reviewers though, this story title might need to change.
1. NOT THE DOUGHNUTS!

No Doughnuts, Cigarettes, or Pudding

Chapter 1

Vash: (Smiling) Hello everybody! Why are you guys up so early?

Meryl: Why are you up so early?

Vash: (Thinks very long time)

Meryl: Vash?

Vash: I…uh…I don't know. (Pauses) Where are the doughnuts?

Meryl: What are doughnuts? Vash what are you talking about?

Vash: You know, the round circular pastries, that I'm totally obsessed with. They taste ooooh soooo good. You remember, I'd do anything to get them.

Millie: Mr. Vash, what in the world are you talking about. No offense.

Vash: Come on you guys, quit playing around, you know what I'm talking about!

Meryl: Vash, we really don't.

Vash: YOU GUYS! Quit playing around, and tell me where the doughnuts. Drastic measures will be taken to get them. Come on, where are they hidden.

(Millie and Meryl exchange confused looks.)

Millie: Mr. Vash, sorry, but we don't know what doughnuts are. Are they some kind of exotic food?

Vash: So, do you know Dunkin Doughnuts?

Millie: What?

Vash: No? How about Krispie Kream?

Meryl: Nope.

Vash: (Tears running down face) NOOOOO! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Wolfwood: What's the racket here? I was sleeping, then I heard pinhead here yelling. What's the problem?

Vash: Tell me, you know what doughnuts are!

Wolfwood: (Nervously, scared that Vash might hurt him if he didn't) Yeah.

Vash: (Glaring) You don't, do you?

Wolfwood: No.

(Vash runs out the door.)

Wolfwood: Where's he going?

Setting: Nearest bakery

Vash: Excuse me sir, do you have any doughnuts, the people where I live, are telling me they've got no clue what doughnuts are, and-

Baker: Sorry sir, I don't know what…what did you say?

Vash: Doughnuts?

Baker: Yes, doughnuts. I don't know what doughnuts are.

Vash: NO! YOU CAN'T BE IN ON IT TOO!


	2. Cigarettes too?

A/N: Hey, well it seems that everyone likes the story, so I'll continue. So, here I am again. Thanks for reviewing. If you stop reviewing, I won't write anymore, so keep on reviewing, and here it goes.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Trigun characters. Wish I did, but we can't all have everything we want now can we? (Sob)

Chapter 2

(Vash walked through the door of the house with his head down.)

Meryl: What's wrong

Vash: Even the baker doesn't know what doughnuts are. Has everyone forgotten their sweet goodness?!

Millie: I guess so.

Wolfwood: Hey, your doughny-whaties or whatever aren't the only things missing. My cigarettes have also been erased from everyone's memory.

Meryl: And I don't know what in the world those are either.

Vash: I don't either. What did you call it?

Wolfwood: Cigarettes.

Vash: Oh, okay. I don't know what they are.

Wolfwood: Well, expect a needle noggin like him to remember anything.

Vash: Who are you callin needle noggin? (Now where have we heard that before?) And look Meryl and Millie don't even remember, are they needle noggins?! And hey, I can remember lots of things!

Wolfwood: No.

Vash: No what?

Wolfwood: No, they're not needle noggins, just you.

Vash: Why am I the needle noggin?

Meryl: What do you mean Vash?

Vash: (panicked look) What?

Meryl: Calling us, me and Millie, needle noggins?

Vash: Oh! Nothing against you two I just-

(Meryl hits Vash over the head with her fist)

Millie: Meryl, now that wasn't very nice. (Typical Millie)

Meryl: Well, he was saying that we were needle noggins!

Vash: (from floor) I was just wondering why I was the only needle noggin.

Millie: I could have told you that Mr. Vash, it's because of you pointy hair! (Pats Vash's 

hair.)

Vash: Hey! Stop that!

(Wolfwood begins to twitch.)

Meryl: Hey, what's wrong with you?

Wolfwood: Oh, I'm just badly in need of a cigarette right now.

Vash: Man, those are worse than doughnuts!

Wolfwood: Oh man! I can't go on like this! I need them now! (Hit table with fist.)

Meryl: Well, this is getting bad. I don't want Wolfwood to freak out on us.

Wolfwood: I've got it, I just need some food. (Saying this, because the next best thing to get his mind off of cigarettes was eating.)

Vash: (Watching Wolfwood as he takes out from the fridge an armful of food.) Before this is over, we'll have spent millions of double dollars on groceries.

Millie: Why's that Mr. Vash?

Vash: Because, we don't have enough food for Wolfwood and me to go on all day! You two might want to go out, and buy some food. (Vash quickly sits at table, and starts grabbing food from Wolfwood's pile of food.)

Wolfwood: Hey! That's mine!

Vash: I need food too!

Meryl: No! This is not good! We don't have enough money for all that food. Millie, this is terrible. ( She said this as she watched Vash and Wolfwood stuffing their faces with piles of food. Which was…well, disgusting.)

Vash: (Through mouthfuls of food) Do we still have salmon sandwiches on this planet Gunsmoke?

Meryl: Yes, and what do you mean on 'this planet Gunsmoke'?

Vash: Well, this planet is alien to me. No doughnuts?! That's…inhuman.

Wolfwood: Yeah, he's right for once. What kind of place doesn't have cigarettes. 

Meryl: Well, maybe it's just you two.

(Wolfwood and Vash stop eating to stare at Meryl.)

Meryl: What? I'm just saying, because it's only you two that are missing something that you love. Millie and I aren't missing anything. Are we Millie?

Millie: Nope, not that I can think of Meryl. 

(Vash and Wolfwood look at each other. Both shrug, then keep eating. Meryl and Millie leave the room.)

Meryl: We've got to think of something else to get their minds off of 'doughnuts' and 'cigarettes'.

Millie: You're right Meryl. I only have a few dollars in my piggy bank! And I was kind of saving it.

Meryl: I don't think we'll have to use your money Millie. (Looks back at the kitchen.) Hopefully.

(Back in the kitchen.)

Vash: I could eat like this for a very long time!

Meryl: Oh, great.

A/N: So, I think I should end it here. Oh, and by the way, sorry for the mistakes, if any. I'm horrible at typing. I corrected some of my mistakes, but I don't like reading it all over again.^-^


	3. Pudding now?

A/N: I got bored, and decided to type up the third chapter too. Although my school work is probably suffering because I write stories instead of doing my homework…oh well! Also, I'm going to try to be a little neater with this story, format wise, so things will probably get better.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Trigun characters. (Short and sweet.)

Chapter 3

Millie: (Crying) Meryl! 

Meryl: What is it Millie?!

Millie: I just realized! Something is missing!

Meryl: What? Is it like Vash and Wolfwood?

Millie: Yeah! It's my pudding. My poor pudding! What will I do without it Meryl? What will I do?

Meryl: I don't know.

(Long pause.)

Millie: (Suddenly got an idea) I know what to do! I'll eat!

Meryl: (Sweat drop) Not you too!

Millie: (Tears forming in her eyes) But, what am I supposed to do?! Vash and Wolfwood are eating to forget what they loved. And I bet I loved pudding more than Vash loved his doughnuts (A/N: Not true, in my opinion anyways). And more than Wolfwood loved his cigarettes! So, why can't I eat to forget my pudding?!

Meryl: Fine! Fine! Go ahead.

Millie: (Went to join Vash and Wolfwood. Yells to Meryl.) Hey, we're almost out of food!

Meryl: Oh God! Please help me.

~In the kitchen~

Vash: Hey, Meryl, go to the store please!

Meryl: No.

(Vash, Wolfwood, and Millie stop eating, and stare at Meryl.)

Wolfwood: (Angrily) Why not?

Meryl: Because…it's gross to watch you guys eat like this, and we don't have enough money, to deep you guys eating all day.

Millie: But Meryl, how will I forget pudding?

Meryl: Go out and do something worth while.

(Vash, and Millie glare at Meryl, who freezes.)

Wolfwood: Fine, I'll go, take a walk or something. Hey, Vash why don't we go to the bar.

Vash: Hey, great idea! Let's go. 

A/N: Maybe not Vash.^-^

Meryl: Hey, you two don't go and get wasted. You hear me?

Wolfwood: What did you say?

(Before Meryl could answer, Vash and Wolfwood closed the door.)

Meryl: (Looks At Millie) So, what are you going to do?

Millie: Of course, follow them!

(Before Millie could reach the door.)

Meryl: Millie, do you have to follow everything the do?

Millie: (Sighs) Fine, I'll stay here. But what should I do then? (Gets a tear in her eye.)

Meryl: Do you know how to make pudding?

Millie: (Thinks) With the mix I do!

Meryl: Well, I've never heard of pudding, so I don't think there's a mix. Could you make your own recipe?

Millie: Hmm…I could try.

Meryl: Well, what do you need?

Millie: (yells) Chocolate! ^o^

Meryl: Is that all?

Millie: no, but I don't know what else to use.

Meryl: Well, maybe I could help. If you describe what it's like, we could probably figure it out.

Millie: (Thinking hard) ~How should I describe it?~ (Begins) Well…it's chocolaty…it's kind of like jello, only it can't harden into shapes…It's like a sauce, but not watery or anything. It's kinda like ketchup, but thicker. And…and…it tastes good!

Meryl: Hmm…well if we heat the choclate and maybe melt it. But how do you make it thick?

Millie: I know there's milk in it!

Meryl: Does the mild make it thick?

Millie: Maybe, but wait, do we have chocolate on this planet Gunsmoke?

Meryl: Yes, we do have chocolate powder on 'this planet Gunsmoke.'

Millie: Maybe we could use that.

~Much later, at the bar. Wolfwood sitting at table. Vash on the floor.~

Vash: Wolfwood, how much have we had?

Wolfwood: Unh…

Vash: How many?

Wolfwood: Unh…(His head on table.)~_~

Vash: That many?

Wolfwood: (Face on table) Mmm…

Vash: My head is starting to hurt. It was fun at first, but now I don't feel so good. How 'bout you?

Wolfwood: (Sits up) I'm fine, just fine. (Eyes unfocused.) '-'

Vash: (Also sits up) You are? You don't seem like it.

Wolfwood: Vash! I said I'm fine! Hey, barkeep! Bring me another.

Vash: Wolfwood I think you've had enough.

A/N: Now, I think Vash should know that you don't upset a drunk person.

Wolfwood: (Pulls out his gun-cross-thing out of nowhere…oh, you know what I'm talking about. Points it at Vash.) Vash! I'll say when I've had enough!

Vash looks at Wolfwood confused, but scared, and is brave enough to ask, "Where did you get that?!"

Wolfwood looks at his gun also confused, "I…I…don't know. Hey! Writer person!"

"Are you talking to me?"

"Yeah," Wolfwood says, "where did this come from?"

The writer looks at the huge gun in his hands, "Oh, that. Well, you see it came from thin air! See," points to spot in the script, "when you reached back, it just appeared. You kind of needed it for this scene, and well, you forgot it at home."

"Oh, now it makes sense! Thanks." Wolfwood said.

"Anytime!"

"So…where was I again?" Writer again points to spot in script where they left off. "Okay, thanks again."

A/N: That was my appearance. I might appear again, who knows.^_^

Wolfwood: You got that Vash, no one tells me when I've had enough!

Vash: Okay! Okay, fine.

Wolfwood: So, bartender, where's my drink?

Bartender (A/N: Poor 'Bartender'! Wolfwood should be nicer.) Uh…sir, may I ask you to leave?

Wolfwood: What?

(Bartender cowers behind the counter.)

Vash: (Yells) Wolfwood, that's enough. 

A/N: Yeah, Wolfwood, that's enough!

Wolfwood: (Looks at Vash) Ugh! Fine! Lately, I've been pushed around too easily! (Leave bar with Vash.) How long were we in there?

Vash: (Throws up)

Wolfwood: Vash! Not on my shoes! Uh! That's nasty. You're cleaning them when we get home.

Vash: (Crying) But Wolfwood! It was your idea to go and get drunk!

Wolfwood: Yeh, but it wasn't my idea to throw up now was it? It's not my fault you can't hold it in!

Vash: No, but-

Wolfwood: Then it's simple, you're washing my shoes when we get home.

(Tears run down Vash's face.)

A/N: Well, that's the end of the third chapter, it was pretty long compared to the others. I'm starting to like the story a little better. I don't know how to resolve it or anything, so if you have any ideas, tell me. I'll see what you guys want in the story. If you want something to happen, like a funny scene or something that you have an idea for, I'll listen to those too. Come on, this is as much your guy's story as mine. Anyways, I don't have enough imagination to come up with the rest. My imagination level is running low, so help me out.


	4. Crazy

A/N: Hello everyone! Welcome back! Sorry it's been taking me sooooo long to get this story updated. School is-well, that doesn't need explanation. Kind of in a little depression. Nothing to worry about. Hopefully Writers humor is still good.

Disclaimer: By the way, I don't own Trigun. I own Writer, because that's me! ^_^

Chapter 4

:Vash and Wolfwood made it home, they see smoke coming from the kitchen window. Vash runs to house.:

Meryl: Millie?! What's going one?! I left you for one second and the kitchen is on fire.

Millie: Meryl, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Meryl: What do we do? What do we do?

:Vash runs in:

Vash: What happened here?

Millie: We were just trying to make pudding and Meryl left me, and the stove just caught fire!

Vash: What we should do is…smother the flame!

:Meryl grabs towel. Vash throws it on flame. Towel just burns up.)

Vash: Ahhhhh!

:Wolfwood comes in calmly. Gets a towel. Throws it on the fire. The fire goes out. Everyone stands staring at the burnt stove. Vash looks at Wolfwood.)

Vash: How come it worked for you?

Wolfwood: Because it looks funny, when it works for me and not you.

Vash: Oh.

Millie: Well, my puddings all burnt up now.

Meryl: Yup.

Millie: Well, let's try again!

Meryl: (Sweat drop) Uh…let's wait until tomorrow.

Millie: Okay. (Not sounding all to happy)

Vash: What were you guys trying to do again?

Millie: We were trying to make pudding.

Meryl: Yeah, maybe, Vash we could try to make doughnuts, and Wolfwood, we could try to make cigarettes.

Wolfwood: (Laughs) You can't make cigarettes!

Meryl: Isn't there a recipe?

Wolfwood: Cigaretes aren't food Meryl. It would take a long time for me to make them anyways.

A/N: Sorry that chapter was so short, but I also put up chapter five along with it. Oh, and by the way, how do you like how I write the story? Is it easier to read now? Tell me what you think. And any new ideas are welcome! Keep reviewing. Thank you!


	5. Poor Meryl

A/N: This chapter is much longer than the last one. Three pages in fact. So, I hope you will be happy with that. You don't want to read my commentary, so I'll just let you read. Oh, but I must thank Pudding333, for the suggestion. Her suggestion inspired me for this chapter. I originally didn't want Meryl to 'lose' anything. She was supposed to be the sane one, and also I didn't know what she could 'lose', so; 

****

THANK YOU PUDDING!!!!^_^ (By the way, I mention you in the story)

Disclaimer: You should know now, that I don't own Trigun.

Chapter 5

:The next day in the kitchen:

Vash: (Wearing apron and chef's hat) Meryl! How do I start the oven?

Meryl: . Vash! You don't have anything to cook yet!

:Millie is at kitchen counter which is a complete mess:

Millie: Meryl! This pudding…is not pudding! It's watery, and it doesn't taste like pudding!

Meryl: Well, we could…

:Meryl stops as if distracted, or thinking about something:

Millie: (Stops mixing her watery 'pudding') What is it Meryl?

:Meryl runs upstairs to her room:

Meryl: Ahhhhh!!!!!

"Ooh! That sounds bad. Definitely. But I wonder what it is." Writer comments to Wolfwood.

"You mean you still don't know?!"

Writer cowers under the threat of being shot by Wolfwood, "Well, I…I was under a lot of pressure from the readers! I had to put something up!" Wolfwood is unconvinced. Writer finally gets an idea, and a light bulb shines over her head. It quickly flickers and goes out. Writer looks up and frowns, but decides to go with the idea anyways, "I love you?"

"Okay, that works. Now, on with the story."

Writer is shocked, and appalled, "Wolfwood! You expect me to continue with the story, after being threatened to be killed?"

"Yes."

Writer is very psychologically damaged, but with the 'Get Better Within Five Seconds Of Watching This Video' tape, writer is better. "See, audience, the abuse the cast…well, Wolfwood," Writer glares at Wolfwood, "gives me?"

:Meryl runs down stairs:

Vash: (Looks at Meryl) What's wrong?

Meryl: My…my…my type…

Wolfwood: Your type of what?

Meryl: (Yells) Where's my typewriter?!

:Birds that were peacefully sitting on the roof fly away:

Millie: What's a typewriter?

Meryl: It's something that you write with.

Millie: Like a pencil? ^-^

Meryl: . NO! NOT LIKE A PENCIL!

Wolfwood: Is there a recipe? (A/N: Hey…that's funny. Meryl said the same thing in chapter four! Huh…that's funny!)

Meryl: (Glare) No!

Wolfwood: Can you make one?

Meryl: That's impossible.

Wolfwood: lIke cigarettes?

Meryl: I guess. (Pause) Oh! This is not fair!

Vash: Hey, it happened to the rest of us!

Meryl: Yeah, but it wasn't supposed to happen to me!

Vash: Well, the audience wanted you to lose something. Writer didn't know just what, but, Pudding gave her the idea. (Reviews)

Meryl: Curse you Writer! Curse you Pudding! Cur-

:Vash covers her mouth. Rest of Trigun crew looking afraid.:

Vash: You don't do that!

Meryl: Why not?

Vash: You could be voted off the island by Writer and Pudding! Their votes combined would equal about five hundred votes!

Meryl: Vash! We're not on an island! No more Survivor references!

Vash: Sorry, but just don't make Writer or our audience mad. I sure don't want them mad.

Meryl: Yeah, but I am!

:Vash grins nervously:

Meryl: Who would you rather be med? Writer, and the audience? Or :pulls out gun: me?

:Vash runs away screaming:

Wolfwood: That wasn't very fair.

:Millie is still working on pudding:

Millie: Ew! It tastes like Tabasco sauce! I didn't put that in here! I don't even like spicy!

:Meryl and Wolfwood laugh:

~*~

:Vash, far away from house:

Vash: Women are so scary. I need doughnuts. L 

A/N: Well, there it is chapter five. So, again thank you Pudding! See, I use your guy's ideas. Only if you review. Whatever you want to see happen in the story, I'll try to make happen. It just so happens in this case it worked. Nothing too outrageous if you do have an idea. Man, would I be a good class president…or not! ^_^


	6. guess who's joining the crew

A/N: Gasp! Isn't it amazing everyone? I'm alive! Oh…wait, wrong situation, um…oh! That's where I am. Let's try this again. Guess what everyone! I updated! WhooHoo!!!!! (Does the happy dance) Although I think the next couple of chapters are going to suck! But, stick with me. I'm also at a horrible writer's block! Agh. But, be happy, it's been a month since I've updated. Remember how I said I was going to make my Halloween costume? Well, I didn't even have time for that! But…uh…did I mention I'm alive?

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE TRIGUN CHARACTERS!!!!! Happy?

Chapter 6

:On the outskirts of town:

Legato: Where are they? I must have them. Where are they? This must be a joke!

:Legato sees a town, and someone walking towards him. Legato squints to see better. As he gets closer, he sees that it is Vash:

Vash: What are you doing here Legato?

Legato: And are you sure that's any of your business?

Vash: You're not going to kill anyone.

Legato:…no. I've been…searching.

Vash: For someone?

Legato: No, more like a thing.

Vash: A thing? *That's not new. It seems a bunch of people are looking for things* What kind of thing?

Legato: Hot dogs.

:Vash and Legato look at each other:

Vash: Never heard of 'em.

Legato: Just like everyone else! No one remembers!

Vash: No, it's not like that.

Legato: (Glares) What is it like then?

Vash: It's more like people's absolute favorite things are missing. The thing _you_ would miss most.

Legato: And a needle noggin like you would know this?

Vash: Hey! You called me needle noggin! Don't call me needle noggin!

Legato: You're yelling at me?

Vash: No!

Legato: You're yelling at me.

Vash: (Trying to change the subject) Do you want to make you…what did you call it?

Legato: Hot dogs.

Vash: Yeah, do you want to make them? See, it's happened to a bunch of us, and we're trying to make what we've 'lost'.

Legato: Cute. Very cute.

Vash: No! I'm serious.

~*~

Meryl: Where is Vash?

Wolfwood: I don't know, but I'm not surprised. You scared him so badly.

Meryl: I'm sorry, but I'm just frustrated.

Wolfwood: We all are.

:They hear the door open:

Meryl: It's about- Vash! Why is he here?

:Meryl was referring to Legato of course:

Vash: (Scratches head, looks at Meryl nervously) Well, he's 'lost' something too.

Meryl: But, we can't have him here! He's…scary. (Sees Legato glaring) And I mean that in the best possible way!

:So it was decided that Legato would stay there:

Millie: But we don't have an extra room.

Meryl: Well, since Legato is Vash's guest, he will stay in Vash's room.

Vash: What?!

Legato: (Angrily) Didn't you hear her? She said I'm staying in your room.

:Vash looked at Legato:

Vash: Uh…right. (Nervous laugh)

Legato: Well, I'd like to retire now.

Vash: Sure, right this way.

:Vash brings Legato to his room:

Legato: Thank you. You can leave now.

Vash: But…this is my room too.

Legato: (Grins) Not while I'm here. Goodnight. 

:Legato enters room, closes door behind him:

Vash: (Out in living room) Man, that guy has a lot of nerve!

Meryl: Well, you invited him.

Vash: (Sighs) Yeah, I know.

Millie: Gee Mr. Vash you're brave inviting him here.

Wolfwood: Well, I don't think I'll sleep tonight.

:Everyone agreed with this:

A/N: So, basically um…Legato joins in, and uh…yeah. I'm not going to add Knives into this, or any story. I don't know much about him actually. All I really know is…um…he's Vash's brother? Anyways, um…if I try to put him in, it will horribly mutilate the story, so do not ask for me to put Knives in. Just don't. But, keep reviewing, and please tell me your ideas. 


	7. Insanity

A/N: Look! I also put chapter seven up too! Seven-up. He, he, he…uh…what was that about?! Uh…anyways, I'm suffering from a sadness time, but story is helping me, so…I'll do this. But…let's do a happiness dance, in honor of chapter seven!!!! :Does happy dance: Ahem…okay, let's go with the story.

Disclaimer: DON'T OWN TRIGUN

Chapter 7

:Morning, Vash and Millie asleep in the living room. Meryl almost asleep, and Wolfwood wide awake from drinking waaaay too much coffee. Legato enters:

Meryl: (afraid) Good morning Mr. Bluesummers.

Legato: I'm not a morning person. And why did you two stay up all night?

Meryl: Well, we weren't very tiered and…

Legato: You were afraid I would kill you. Well, I would have killed you even if you were asleep.

:Vash wakes up:

Vash: Hello everyone…Legato?! Oh, wait, that wasn't a dream.

Meryl: (Shakes her head) How could you have forgotten so easily?

:Vash shrugs:

Meryl: So Legato. Um…you wanted to make…

Legato: Hot dogs (annoyed)

Meryl: Right, so what are they made of?

Legato: Pig intestines.

:Vash, Wolfwood, and Meryl look at each other with faces of disgust:

Vash: Ewww!

Legato: (Glares. Controls Vash's mind, and makes him punch himself in the face.)

Vash: Ow! That hurt!

Legato: Did you really have to tell me how that felt?

Vash: (Hangs his head)

Legato: So, we need to find some pigs…and kill them. (said with a grin)

:Legato gets up and leaves the house:

Meryl: This won't end well.

Vash: At least he's out of the house right? So, let's make doughnuts! (Runs to the kitchen) Ow! The stove is hot!

A/N: The stove was on, and Vash had put his hands down on one of the burners..

Meryl: Sigh

:Millie wakes up, looks over at Wolfwood, who is holding his hand out, which is shaking uncontrollably. Meryl also looks.:

Meryl: Need cigarettes?

Wolfwood: Huh? What? Huh? Cigarettes? No, no, no, no! I don't need cigarettes. Why would I need them? Who needs them? Nope, not me! I don't need those! What I need is MORE COFFEE! 

A/N: O.O…Woah! Scary.

:Wolfwood now tied up in a straight jacket from nowhere, and locked in a newly installed padded cell (may be this could be useful for later use):

Meryl: (Looks at Wolfwood, then shakes her head) The crazy place I decide to live in. (Looks at Vash who is sitting on the kitchen floor looking at his burned bandaged hands, Meryl again shakes her head)

Millie: Meryl! I think I'm close, I just…(the pudding all of the sudden explodes)

:Vash hides under the kitchen table. Wolfwood looks out of the window on the door of his padded cell, and Meryl sits at the table annoyed.:

Wolfwood: Kaboom! (Laughs insanely) Does anybody have coffee for me?

Meryl: NO! Well Millie, let's clean this up.

Vash: That was scary…

Meryl: Sigh…

Wolfwood: Hello everyone! You're all green.

A/N: I don't think Wolfwood isn't on a caffeine high anymore, I think he's just insane now. What do you think? Poor Wolfwood.

:Legato enters the house, and looks at all of the people covered in pudding:

Meryl: Hello (Trying to sound as normal, and as sane as possible) Uh…how was it, making your pig hots?

Legato: Hot dogs, and it was interesting.

Meryl: How so?

Legato: I controlled the pigs' minds.

Meryl:…and

Legato: Ran them off the cliff.

Meryl: How many?!

Legato: Only…(thinks)…25.

Millie: The poor pigs!

Legato: I went to the bottom of the cliff, and looked for what I could salvage, I couldn't find anything.

Meryl: Maybe, that's not the best way, to go about it.

Legato: Maybe I need a smaller cliff. (Looks at Wolfwood in his padded cell) O.o

Meryl: He's temporarily crazy right now. Don't mind him.

Wolfwood: What is craaaaaazy? What is this craaaaaazy? 

Vash: (Looks into the cell) Do you need something in there?

Wolfwood: (with an insane look in his eye…walks to the window) Yeah…you know what I need?

Vash: No.

Wolfwood: Here…put your ear to the glass, and I'll whisper it to you.

:Vash does as Wolfwood says, and puts his left ear to the glass:

Wolfwood: (Yells) COFFEE!!!!! I neeeeeed! COFFEEEEEEEE! (Runs around in circles insanely in his cell, repeating 'coffee' at the top of his lungs)

:Vash runs away for fear of Wolfwood:

Meryl: (Yells to Vash) Vash! He's in his padded cell! And in a straight jacket! He can't attack you!

A/N: Oh! Remember to imagine all of this happening with Meryl, Vash, and Millie covered in pudding. 

:Later: 

Vash: My ear hurts! And my hands too!

Meryl: (Ignoring Vash) Millie, this pudding just won't come out of anything. 

Legato: (In living room) I'm lucky I wasn't there.

Meryl: . The only people who aren't covered in pudding are Wolfwood. (Who is still in his cell, but now his legs are tied together, and his mouth is duct taped shut) And Mr. Bluesummers. Sigh.

Millie: (Eating pudding) Mmm…es es gewd uh bit shticky thew.

Meryl: Eww! Millie, don't eat if off the floor!

Vash: My hands and ear hurt!

A/N: So…um…was the chapter long enough? I hope so. But, poor Wolfwood. I only did it because I love him! Really! No one believes me. Well, I think I'm going to keep the padded cell, but I'm thinking that it needs a name. How 'bout you? Well, since I'm kind of having a hard time, why don't you people come up with a few names. It's gotta be good though, something really good. Something wonderfully tremendously good. Oh, and let's all hope that I update sooner.


	8. We enjoy the killing

A/N: Hello everyone! *Gives a sheepish grin* Uh.I'd like to apologize for not updating for soooo long. Life.has been busy. So, I'm really sorry that I haven't updated. But, to make up for it, I wrote three pages for this chapter. Oh, and this chapter is really random, and somewhat accomplishes something.I think. You see, I was at a major writer's block, so if you totally hate the chapter, please flame me, it might do me some good.hopefully. Anyways, what's up with the long intro right? Well, I'll get on with it, and let you read the story. Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I don't own anything.

Chapter 8

:Vash is better!:

Vash: Yay!

:Wolfwood.somewhat there:

Wolfwood: Howdy! BWAHAHA! *ahem* 'Scuse me.

:Meryl and Millie still have pudding in there hair:

Meryl: (Sitting on the floor crying) Wahhh!

Millie: (With sticky chocolate mouth) Hewoo! (Translation: Hello) Wow es eferym? (Translation.again: How is everyone?)

:Legato.well, he's Legato:

Legato: .

Meryl: Wahhh! I hate this! I took a shower like five times, and I still can't get this.this.stuff out of my hair! I want my nice silky hair back, I don't friggin care about the type writer anymore!

Millie: Po Mewew. (Translation: Poor Meryl.) Y wif ver vas fumfin Y coo do. (Translation: I wish there was something I could do.) 

Wolfwood: Can I have coffee yet?

All: (Yell) No!

Wolfwood: (Sits down and cries like a child)

:In a field far away:

Bunny: WEE! *Jump.Jump.Jump*

A Little Girl: Yay! (Grabs the bunny) I love you! (Rips the bunnies head off)

At Writer's house, she sat on her bed with her laptop, and almost died from laughter.

Legato walked into her room, and stood at the door with his arms crossed and glared, "What the *Censored* was that?!"

Writer looked up with tears in her eyes from laughing too much and too hard, "I.I.don't know! But, it was sooo funny," she paused to laugh even more, "that was waaay too funny!"

Legato rolled his eyes, then said, "Well, would you refrain from things like that?"

"I.I.just had to." Writer explained.

Legato pulls out a pair of reading glasses, and a long roll of paper, you know kinda like the paper they use on Harry Potter, "This is a warning from the Trigun cast:

_If the author, Writer, of this *censored*-up story pulls any stunts like the 'girl and bunny incident' again, we, the Trigun crew, whom the author hired, against their will, more like captured, will reluctantly, actually happily be able to leave. This will be the consequences of any other such behavior, as was previously performed._

Signed,

The Trigun Crew

P.S. The dog says blue, and please let us make it through this story alive!

Writer's head was down when Legato put his glasses, and piece of parchment away. "I'm sorry that was so harsh, but-" Legato was interrupted by an enormous snore. "What?" He asked, and walked over to her, and found that she wasn't crying, but actually asleep. Legato became angry, and left.

:Back at the Trigun house:

Vash: La! La! La! I'm making doughnuts! (Laughs like an idiot)

Millie: (Skips around as if she's frolicking in a field of flowers)

Meryl: O.O

Wolfwood: (Joins Millie)

Meryl: ((O.O))

Legato: I'm going to get a pig. (Leaves)

Meryl: (Continues to watch Wolfwood and Millie in horror) STOP!

:Millie and Wolfwood stop, and stare at Meryl:

Wolfwood: What?

Millie: (Innocently) Yeah, what?

Meryl: It's disgusting! Millie, go make some exploding pudding, and Wolfwood, go smoke a tree! I don't care what you do, just stop doing THAT!

Millie: Does Meryl need some time in 'the cell'? (No, that is not the name of the cell, it's just I haven't gotten enough suggestions for what it should be called, so that's what it will be called for now.)

Wolfwood: (Nods) I think so. 'Smoke a tree'? Hm.I'll be back in a few. (Leaves)

Millie: (Cautiously walks toward Meryl) Now Meryl, I really don't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.

:Minutes later:

Millie: (Shuts the door to the cell, with Meryl inside, and claps her hand together) There, now I can make my pudding. Hey Mr. Vash can- (Looks around for Vash) Hey, where'd he go?

Vash: (Voice muffled) Millie! Why did you put me in here?! Help me! Aaaaaah! She's eating my arm! Help! Anyone? Please, help me! No, Meryl, get that knife away from me! Where did you get that anywaaaaaay! Aaaaaah!

Millie: Uh-oh! (Slowly backs away, and runs outside)

Legato: (Has a pig following him, who has a vacant expression, probably because Legato is controlling the creature's mind. Sees Millie running away.) o.O

Wolfwood: (Collecting leaves from trees. Turns to see Millie running towards him) No! It wasn't me I swear, it was all Vash's fault! (Begins to run away, and throws his leaves up in the air)

Millie: No, it's all right, it's just Meryl is killing Mr. Vash in the cell!

Wolfwood: Ooh! I wanna watch that! (Begins to head for the house, then stops) With what?

Millie: A knife! ^-^

Wolfwood: Yeah! Bloody! (Runs to the house, as he passes Legato) Hey, Vash is getting killed by Meryl!

Legato: (Interested) o.O With what? 

Wolfwood: A knife! ^-^

Legato: (Forgets about his pig) Ooh! ^-^ (Follows after Wolfwood) Fun!

:Inside:

Vash: You guys! Why don't you help me?! It hurts! Really.aaah..bad! Please?

Wolfwood: (Watching at the window) Bloooood.yum. I've got clean-up duty!

Legato: (Pushes Wolfwood out of the way) I wanna see! (Looks into the window) 

Vash: Ow!

Legato: That looked pretty deep.

Millie: (At the kitchen counter) ^-^ I'm making pudding! Yay!

A/N: Are you happy? I hope you are, because I love you! *AHEM* Anyways, uh.tell me what you thought, and please, please, please, help me out with them name for 'the cell' I've got like two suggestions, but everyone just completely totally forgot about it. So, if you don't mind, please give me a name for it. Maybe I'll update sooner if you give me a name for it.or I'll give you free anime.or something. Look! A bird!


	9. Progress?

A/N: Hello bean filled burritos! Um…anyways, I'm just really tiered…or something, or is it bored? Well, anyways, I guess I haven't updated lately, but I have a lot of story for you now. But if you're not happy with this, you can go read my other story 'The Birds', because nobody reads that story…just thought you might like to know.

Disclaimer: I do not own Vashy, Meryl, Millie, Wolfwood, or Legato…or any of the Trigun characters.

Chapter 9

:Well, as you probably imagine Vash got saved…finally. After Legato and Wolfwood had their fill of the gore, Wolfwood, as promised, had clean up duty in the padded cell:

Wolfwood: (With a mop and bucket) It's so red, and so beautiful. (Reaches down to touch the blood)

Meryl: (Covered in partially dried blood) Wolfwood…what's your problem?

Wolfwood: Um…-

Meryl: Whatever. You know what? I feel surprisingly better after letting all that out.

Millie: Good for you Meryl! I'm glad. Um…Do we have eggs?

Meryl: Yeah, in the back of the fridge.

Millie: Yay!

Meryl: What do you need eggs fro?

Millie: Um…uh…I forget…(Then suddenly is filled with Writer's awesome knowledge)…It's for the pudding…(Loses the knowledge)…Pudding?

Legato: I lost my pig. I wanted his intestines.

All except Legato: o.O

Vash: (Wheeled into the room in a wheelchair by a beautiful nurse lady, Vash is in a full body cast) Muuuuh!

Meryl: (Glances at Vash uncaringly) Hey Vash.

Vash: Ruhmumu!

Meryl: What?

Nurse Lady: He says 'Why did you do that Meryl?'

Meryl: (Shrugs) I dunno…

Vash: Hrumbuh.

Nurse Lady: He says 'You put ouchies all over my body'

Meryl: (Walks up to Vash, and leans so they are face to face) Oh, did I do that? Well, I don't care. And if I had the chance, I'd do it again. (Walk away)

A/N: Did that sound like foreshadowing to anyone?

Vash: Guhrun

:Nurse Lady doesn't say anything, but only pats Vash on the shoulder lightly:

Meryl: What did he say?

Nurse Lady: Oh he didn't say anything, he was just whimpering.

:A few feet away, at the refrigerator:

Millie: Hm…the eggs don't look right…oh well! -

:She carries the eggs to where she's making pudding. The eggs are emitting a powerful odder of…rotten eggs. What else?:

Wolfwood: (Holding his nose) What the hell is that smell?! (Looks over at the eggs) Millie, it's the eggs!

Millie: What does that mean?

Wolfwood: That they're bad.

Millie: Well, Mom said there was no such thing as bad eggs. Only kids that make mashed potatoes.

Wolfwood: What?!

Millie: that's what Mom always said. (Begins to bread the eggs into her mixing bowl)

Wolfwood: Uh! Millie! You can't be serious. You're really going to use those?

Millie: (Eyes watering) Yes Mr. Wolfwood. I am, because they are the only eggs we have.

Wolfwood: We can buy more.

Millie: Well, apparently, we need to use these before they get any worse.

Wolfwood: (About to pass out) You know what, I'm leaving. I'm going to go made something.

A/N: For all of you who are completely brain dead or something, that was really gross.

:Luckily, everyone else was out of the room. Meryl has officially given up on making her typewriter, so she went to play in the mud. Vash can't do anything…for this chapter anyways. And Legato was out to find a pig.:

Legato: Need…pig…must…find…

Pig: Oink, oink

Legato: PIGGY!!!

Pig: OINK! (Begins to run)

Legato: (Jumps up into the air) PIGGY!!! (Tackles the pig)

Pig: OINK! OINK! (Wriggling)

Legato: Your mine!

Wolfwood: …

Pig: (Stops struggling)

Legato: (Looks up, gives a nervous grin)

Wolfwood: (Raises hands) I don't even want to know. (Turns away, leaves)

Legato: (Ties the pig up) Ha! (Hair slightly...messed up)

:Outside the house:

Meryl: (Slapping the mud) Yum, yum mud! Yum, yum mud! I like the mud!

Vash: (Silently watching Meryl)

Meryl: (Throws mud at Vash) Ha! Ha!

Vash: Mubuhwuh!

Nurse Lady: (Brings Vash inside)

Meryl: Hey! That lady tooked my fun! Let's go eat her. (Gets up out of the mud, a SHLOOP sound is heard from the mud.)

:In the house:

Nurse Lady: I'll get you cleaned up Mr. Stamped.

Vash: Guh huh.

Nurse Lady: You're welcome. Well, I'll be right back. (Leaves to get supplies, comes back)

Meryl: (Follows her into the room, silently giggling)

Vash: (Has seen Meryl) Muhhuh! Muhhuh mehi hu!

Nurse Lady: (Turns around) Where? I don't see her. (Turns back around) Mr. Stampede, please don't scare me like that. Now, let's get you cleaned up. (Begins to word on Vash)

Meryl: (Gets out from behind the door, gets ready to attack the nurse)

Vash: Muhuh! Muhuh!

Nurse Lady: Vash, please, calm down. You need to stop getting so excited. I-

Meryl: (Attacks) Raarrr!

Nurse Lady: Eek! Eek!

Meryl: Yummy! Nurse!

Nurse Lady: No! Not my spleen! No…but I need my heart! Ah! I can't think without my brain!

Meryl: (Eating the nurse's spleen, heart, and brain)

Nurse Lady: I don't know how I'm thinking without my brain, but-Gah! (Now dead)

Meryl: (Stands, blood and mud all over her clothes, blood dripping from her mouth, smiles, gives a thumbs up) Yum!

Vash: MUH! MUH! (Translation: Ahh! Ahh!)

Meryl: Don't worry, I won't eat you. (Leaves the room)

Vash: (Looks at the nurse)

A/N: Sorry about the blood…again…sorry, but I love it

:At some tree with no apples:

Wolfwood: (Singing) Leaves, leaves, leaves. We collect leaves. (Stops singing) Meryl had a pretty good idea with the trees. Let's see if this really words though.

:In the kitchen:

Millie: (About ready to throw up) That…did not…taste…chocolate…at all.

Millie's got food poisoning now

:In a mud puddle:

Meryl: Yummy mud! We like mud!

Legato: o.O What are you doing? (Carrying a pig)

Meryl: Playing mud! (Throws mud at Legato)

Legato: …(Drops the pig) I'll kill you! Raah!

Pig: OINK!

Burrito: …

Taco: Wee!

Meryl: (Runs away)

Legato: (Picks up the pig)

Pig: OINK! OINK!

:In the house, Wolfwood heard Vash's screams:

Wolfwood: MY DEAR GOD! What happened?

Vash: Huhmuhmunuh.

Wolfwood: o.O I cannot understand a word you're saying. But, I'm guessing this is the work of the evil Meryl. She's getting more time in the cell. (Goes to look for her)

Vash: HUHUMUH! (Translation: WHAT ABOUT ME?)

:Somewhere in the house:

Wolfwood: Meryl! Meryl! Where are you?

Meryl: (Has taken a shower) Yeah? (Seems normal)

Wolfwood: Uh…could you come help me in the kitchen?

Meryl: There's no exploding pudding is there?

Wolfwood: No.

Meryl: Okay.

A/N: Well, what did you think? Huh, huh, huh? Well, I'm really curious to find out. If you're tiered of the gore, please tell me. Personally, I like it, but if people are seriously against it, I'll stop. And, if you don't tell me your opinion, then I'll leave it in. I don't want to lose my readers just because of that…so, tell me what you guys think. My guitar has a mind of its own.


	10. What Just Happened?

A/N: YAY! More to the story! This chapter isn't as long as the last though. But funny things happen to Meryl, but I can't tell you what, you have to keep reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Trigun characters; however I won all of the burritos and tacos that may appear in the story.

Chapter 10

:Outside the kitchen:

Meryl: Uh! What's that smell? I'm not going in there Wolfwood!

Wolfwood: Oh, it's not that bad really. (Enters the kitchen) Milli!

Meryl: (Enters, holds nose) Uh! What happened?

Wolfwood: (Pushes Meryl into the cell, closes door)

Meryl: Raah! (Explodes into flames)

Wolfwood: O.O

Meryl: (Is now a demon-looking-thing, evil demon voice) Wolfwood. Why did you do this to me?

Wolfwood: (Holding nose) You're insane!

Meryl: You can't do this!

Wolfwood: Oh, yes I can! (Goes to Millie, who is laying on the floor) Millie? What happened?

Millie: I feel si- I feel si- (Throws up)

Wolfwood: Uh! Twice in the same story!

Millie: (Weakly) Uuuh…

:Later, in the living room:

Millie: (On the couch, with the 'Chuck Bucket', throws up into it)

Wolfwood: Eew…

Legato: Ta-dah!

Wolfwood: o.O Why are you in such a good mood?

Legato: Why shouldn't I be?

Wolfwood: Well, let's count, Meryl's an evil demon-thing. Millie's got food poisoning. And Vash, can't do anything.

Legato: Well, I've got good news! -

Wolfwood: o.O

Legato: (Pulls out a plate from behind his back)

Wolfwood: (Looks at it) Aaand? What is that?

Legato: HOT DOGS!

Millie: (Smells it, throws up)

Meryl: (Still in cell) I smell something meaty! Give me!

Legato: (Sits down, and begins to eat) Yummy!

Wolfwood: (Disgusted look on face) How can you eat at a time like this?

Legato: I've been waiting for this for a long time, I _need_ it! It is essential to my existence!

Wolfwood: o.O

Legato: All though there is something missing, but I can't put my-

Wolfwood: What?

Legato: BUN!

A/N: The day we see Legato scream 'buns' is the day I fly over the moon, eating a burrito, with the anti-Christ…which I would not do. Eating while flying is hazardous to your health

Wolfwood: Huh?

Legato: I need buns!

A/N: …my God…

Wolfwood: …

Legato: You know, like a bread that goes around the hot dog….almost like a sandwich…um.

Wolfwood: Oh! You mean like a hamburger bun?

Legato: Yes!

Wolfwood: We have some in the kitchen.

Legato: Hamburger buns?

Wolfwood: Yeah.

Legato: But I need the special hot dog buns…they're special.

Wolfwood: Until now, we didn't even know what hot dogs were, so you're out of luck buddy.

Legato: 

Writer wipes the sweat from her brow. "Wooh! I think I should finish the chapter here. That was way too much. With lots of unnecessary stuff."

"You've got that right." Meryl said.

"You agree?!" Writer exclaimed in amazement.

Meryl nodded, "Like with me eating that nurse! That just wasn't right. Also the fact that I am now a demon-thing. What's up with that?" Writer stares at her for a long time. "What?"

Writer begins to drool, "God you're beautiful."

Meryl begins to freak out, "What?"

"Just kidding!" Writer giggled. "I made you a demon-thing because you're evil."

"Evil?!" she screamed in outrage, and became her demon-self.

At this point Writer raised her eyebrows in surprise, "…but, you're not on set. We're not filming…the makeup crew can't work _that _quickly…"

Meryl herself is even surprised, "What's happening to me?!"

"Hm…I dunno…um, oh well. Guess you'll be that way forever or something. Hey! Think of it this way, you won't have to spend those long hours in you trailer with those makeup artist peopley things right?!"

She considers this, "Well, I guess you're right, but-"

"Well, that's all the time we have for this chapter, and I'm just tiered of typing, but we'll continue this conversations later."

A/N: What did ya think of what happened to Meryl? Sorry to any Meryl fans that exist out there, but seriously, I can't stand her. I can't stand Millie either…which is probably the reason she has food poisoning right now. Although, you would have to be pretty stupid to get food poisoning the way she did…but anyway. R&R! Or, give me your lungs!


End file.
